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Jerry Seinfeld on chicken and tuna


Waitress at Monk's Restaurant: Yeah, can I take your order?
George Costanza: I'll check to the raiser.
Jerry Seinfeld: My bet. All right. I'll open with a tuna sandwich.
Elaine Benes: Tuna?
Jerry Seinfeld: Oh, the dolphin thing?
Elaine Benes: They're dying in the nets.
Jerry Seinfeld: You know, the whole concept of lunch is based on tuna.
Elaine Benes: Jerry, can't you incorporate one unselfish act in your daily routine?
Jerry Seinfeld: Hey, when I'm driving, I let people in ahead of me all the time. I'm always waving everybody in. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. ... All right, all right. I'll have the chicken salad.
Elaine Benes: Um, and I'm going to have an English muffin with margarine on the side and a cup of coffee.
Waitress at Monk's Restaurant: OK, and how about you?
George Costanza: I'll have the tuna.

Waitress at Monk's Restaurant: Tuna on toast, cole slaw, cup of coffee.
George Costanza: Yeah. No, no, no, wait a minute. I always have tuna on toast. Nothing's ever worked out for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of tuna on toast. Chicken salad on rye, untoasted, with a side of potato salad and a cup of tea.
Elaine Benes: Well, there's no telling what can happen from this.
Jerry Seinfeld: You know, chicken salad's not the opposite of tuna. Salmon's the opposite of tuna, because salmon swim again the current and the tuna swim with it.
George Costanza: Good for the tuna.

Waitress at Monk's Restaurant: Can I take your order?
Kenny Bania: What kind of soup do you have?
Jerry Seinfeld: Why don't you get a sandwich?
Kenny Bania: OK, I'll have tomato soup and tuna on toast.
Jerry Seinfeld: OK. This is it, you know. This is the meal. So stock up, buddy boy.
Kenny Bania: What are you talking about? This isn't a meal.
Jerry Seinfeld: Yes it is. Soup and sandwich! That is a meal!
Kenny Bania: You're supposed to buy me dinner in a nice restautant, like Mendy's.
Jerry Seinfeld: I tried to do that!
Kenny Bania: This is lunch in a coffee shop.
Jerry Seinfeld: Doesn't matter. This is it. This completes the transaction!
Kenny Bania: Oh, soup and a sandwich for a brand new Armani suit. Is that any kind of a gesture?